2.28.2008
Of Starbucks and Eggrolls.
Since Starbucks has been in the news lately--both because of the three-hour training shutdown and, a few months ago, the tragic closing of the Forbidden City Starbucks (covered on my blog here, among other places)--I thought I'd post the following article. Not just because I don't really have anything else to post, having been gone from China for over a year at this point (although I really don't have much to post right now), but also because I want to and/or feel like it, which is pretty much the best reason for doing anything, don't you think?
(My favorite part about closing the Forbidden City Starbucks was--at least from what I read--not because having a coffee stand in an ancient palace that was the historical center of China makes about as much sense as having a McDonald's in the Washington Monument, but because it was low-class/cheap Western food. So what, Ruth's Chris Steakhouse would have been okay? It's even better because, of all the big tourist attractions around Beijing--naturally, I hit them all in my time there, generally more than once--the Forbidden City has by far the most disgusting food. I mean, there is literally not one thing there I would eat. At least the Summer Palace has some baozi, which I would describe as sort of like Chinese humbao. Last time I was at the Forbidden City, I was starving and I couldn't even find a Snicker's bar--which I hear really satisfies--or anything comparable. Luckily for me, I just went to Starbucks and grabbed a croissant ...)
Anyway--which I say for the howevermanypoststhereareinthisblog time--here's the Starbucks "story" I was talking about, which I wrote for a different blog a long time ago, where they apparently are stupid (that means they didn't like it) so they took it down long ago. Now I put it back up, to give it its rightful place online where it can be seen by tens of tens of people, if not more. But probably less.
Whatever. Here it is. Enjoy!
Starbucks Eggrolls: Stick to the Coffee.
Let me start by getting right to the point: Starbucks Eggrolls are bad. Really bad. I know that I probably should have led up to that a little better, maybe buried it somewhere in the third or fourth paragraph to suck you into the story first, but I thought I’d do a service to those of you who, like myself, never seem to have enough time to read everything you want to on the Internet while at work and just put it out there. In that same spirit, I'll also add that as far as I know Starbucks Eggrolls are only sold at Starbucks stores in China and Taiwan--I'll leave it up to you to decide if that counts as one or two countries--so unless you plan on hitting the Far East in the near future, this probably won't affect you. However, for those of you who either don't have much to do at work today, already have your plane tickets in hand, or are simply really interested in what I have to say (and really, who could blame you?), I'll elaborate.
Still with me? Good. The first time I walked into my local Shanghai Starbucks and saw the Starbucks Eggrolls, boxed up in a red-and-white cardboard sleeve with a group of Edward Gorey-esque Christmas Carolers on the front, I wanted them. And yes, I did want them solely because of the packaging: like most Americans, I've been raised to value things based almost exclusively on the way they look, and I'm fine with that. Once I figured out they only cost about twelve dollars and came with a coupon for a free cup of coffee, my decision was made. This despite the fact that I had no idea what the egg rolls were made out of, although I assumed chocolate was involved somehow since I believe chocolate should be involved in most things. Either way, five minutes later I was on my way home with both the egg rolls and a tall toffee nut latte in hand because, hey, it's Christmastime even in China, right?
Once I was back in the relative warmth of my apartment, I sat down, slid off the aforementioned sleeve, and discovered a squat, square, silver Starbucks tin with no hint anywhere about what was inside. Well, no hint in English: there was some nutritional information on the bottom in Chinese that I couldn't read, but since I guessed it would translate roughly as "this will make you fat" I ignored it, which always seems safest when dealing with desserts. Flipping the tin back over, I pried open the lid, ripped off the layer of wax paper separating me from the sugary goodness inside, and finally laid my eyes on the egg rolls themselves.
I was disappointed. Why? Because the egg rolls were nothing more than cinnamon-colored hollow tubes, like somebody had added brown food coloring--if there is such a thing--to a batch of Scandinavian Krumkake cookies. Ergo, the egg rolls were neither made of nor filled with anything that looked remotely like chocolate. I grabbed one anyway. It was light and flaky and crumbled into pieces almost immediately, and I began to wonder if buying the egg rolls simply because I liked the box might have been a mistake. Then again, based on the coloring they could be chocolate flavored, so hope remained. I picked a piece out of my hand and ate it.
It was disgusting--so much for hope--with a taste that made me immediately think of a burnt sugar cone. Which is odd, because I don't know that I've ever tasted a burnt sugar cone or if sugar cones can even be burnt, but the mind is mysterious thing. However, just to make sure I wasn't out of mine, I ate some more. After all, I reasoned, the first egg roll might have been a bad one, a mistake. I was wrong: it was just as terrible. Slow learner that I apparently am, I had one more, since I couldn't believe that Starbucks could make such a gross misstep. Needless to say, I was wrong yet again, although at least the third time I had the good sense to only take a small bite.
I put the lid back on and gave up. Honestly, I was a bit confused. After all, I'd really liked the Green Tea Frappuccino, the last Asian-inspired item Starbucks had dreamed up, so what had gone wrong with the egg rolls? Then I realized that maybe nothing had gone wrong, that the egg rolls might have been designed to appeal to Chinese tastes. Other big companies did it, after all--Cadbury, for example, makes their chocolate sweeter in China--so why wouldn't Starbucks?
To test my theory, I brought the egg rolls into work the next day and forced everyone I could to try one. And guess what? My Chinese coworkers loved them. In fact, when I admitted that I didn't like them, I got a lot of confused looks and, depending on the taster's English proficiency, comments ranging from "You not like?" to "Dude, are you crazy?" To which I now respond, no, because I had my wife--who, like me and Bruce Springsteen, was born in the US--try a couple, and she thought they were just as bad as I did.
So obviously, I would recommend that if you happen to be somewhere in Asia and see Starbucks Eggrolls for sale (with or without Christmas-themed packaging), you should avoid them at all costs. But then again, every Chinese person I offered them to thought the opposite, so clearly someone at Starbucks knows what they're doing. Actually, someone at Starbucks really knows what they're doing, since they seem to have convinced everyone in Shanghai--a city where the official minimum wage is around seventy-five cents an hour and having a good job means you might take home a thousand dollars a month--that paying three bucks for a cup of what is basically just flavored is reasonable. The moral of the story? Buy stock in Starbucks while you can ... just avoid the egg rolls.
(My favorite part about closing the Forbidden City Starbucks was--at least from what I read--not because having a coffee stand in an ancient palace that was the historical center of China makes about as much sense as having a McDonald's in the Washington Monument, but because it was low-class/cheap Western food. So what, Ruth's Chris Steakhouse would have been okay? It's even better because, of all the big tourist attractions around Beijing--naturally, I hit them all in my time there, generally more than once--the Forbidden City has by far the most disgusting food. I mean, there is literally not one thing there I would eat. At least the Summer Palace has some baozi, which I would describe as sort of like Chinese humbao. Last time I was at the Forbidden City, I was starving and I couldn't even find a Snicker's bar--which I hear really satisfies--or anything comparable. Luckily for me, I just went to Starbucks and grabbed a croissant ...)
Anyway--which I say for the howevermanypoststhereareinthisblog time--here's the Starbucks "story" I was talking about, which I wrote for a different blog a long time ago, where they apparently are stupid (that means they didn't like it) so they took it down long ago. Now I put it back up, to give it its rightful place online where it can be seen by tens of tens of people, if not more. But probably less.
Whatever. Here it is. Enjoy!
Starbucks Eggrolls: Stick to the Coffee.
Let me start by getting right to the point: Starbucks Eggrolls are bad. Really bad. I know that I probably should have led up to that a little better, maybe buried it somewhere in the third or fourth paragraph to suck you into the story first, but I thought I’d do a service to those of you who, like myself, never seem to have enough time to read everything you want to on the Internet while at work and just put it out there. In that same spirit, I'll also add that as far as I know Starbucks Eggrolls are only sold at Starbucks stores in China and Taiwan--I'll leave it up to you to decide if that counts as one or two countries--so unless you plan on hitting the Far East in the near future, this probably won't affect you. However, for those of you who either don't have much to do at work today, already have your plane tickets in hand, or are simply really interested in what I have to say (and really, who could blame you?), I'll elaborate.
Still with me? Good. The first time I walked into my local Shanghai Starbucks and saw the Starbucks Eggrolls, boxed up in a red-and-white cardboard sleeve with a group of Edward Gorey-esque Christmas Carolers on the front, I wanted them. And yes, I did want them solely because of the packaging: like most Americans, I've been raised to value things based almost exclusively on the way they look, and I'm fine with that. Once I figured out they only cost about twelve dollars and came with a coupon for a free cup of coffee, my decision was made. This despite the fact that I had no idea what the egg rolls were made out of, although I assumed chocolate was involved somehow since I believe chocolate should be involved in most things. Either way, five minutes later I was on my way home with both the egg rolls and a tall toffee nut latte in hand because, hey, it's Christmastime even in China, right?
Once I was back in the relative warmth of my apartment, I sat down, slid off the aforementioned sleeve, and discovered a squat, square, silver Starbucks tin with no hint anywhere about what was inside. Well, no hint in English: there was some nutritional information on the bottom in Chinese that I couldn't read, but since I guessed it would translate roughly as "this will make you fat" I ignored it, which always seems safest when dealing with desserts. Flipping the tin back over, I pried open the lid, ripped off the layer of wax paper separating me from the sugary goodness inside, and finally laid my eyes on the egg rolls themselves.
I was disappointed. Why? Because the egg rolls were nothing more than cinnamon-colored hollow tubes, like somebody had added brown food coloring--if there is such a thing--to a batch of Scandinavian Krumkake cookies. Ergo, the egg rolls were neither made of nor filled with anything that looked remotely like chocolate. I grabbed one anyway. It was light and flaky and crumbled into pieces almost immediately, and I began to wonder if buying the egg rolls simply because I liked the box might have been a mistake. Then again, based on the coloring they could be chocolate flavored, so hope remained. I picked a piece out of my hand and ate it.
It was disgusting--so much for hope--with a taste that made me immediately think of a burnt sugar cone. Which is odd, because I don't know that I've ever tasted a burnt sugar cone or if sugar cones can even be burnt, but the mind is mysterious thing. However, just to make sure I wasn't out of mine, I ate some more. After all, I reasoned, the first egg roll might have been a bad one, a mistake. I was wrong: it was just as terrible. Slow learner that I apparently am, I had one more, since I couldn't believe that Starbucks could make such a gross misstep. Needless to say, I was wrong yet again, although at least the third time I had the good sense to only take a small bite.
I put the lid back on and gave up. Honestly, I was a bit confused. After all, I'd really liked the Green Tea Frappuccino, the last Asian-inspired item Starbucks had dreamed up, so what had gone wrong with the egg rolls? Then I realized that maybe nothing had gone wrong, that the egg rolls might have been designed to appeal to Chinese tastes. Other big companies did it, after all--Cadbury, for example, makes their chocolate sweeter in China--so why wouldn't Starbucks?
To test my theory, I brought the egg rolls into work the next day and forced everyone I could to try one. And guess what? My Chinese coworkers loved them. In fact, when I admitted that I didn't like them, I got a lot of confused looks and, depending on the taster's English proficiency, comments ranging from "You not like?" to "Dude, are you crazy?" To which I now respond, no, because I had my wife--who, like me and Bruce Springsteen, was born in the US--try a couple, and she thought they were just as bad as I did.
So obviously, I would recommend that if you happen to be somewhere in Asia and see Starbucks Eggrolls for sale (with or without Christmas-themed packaging), you should avoid them at all costs. But then again, every Chinese person I offered them to thought the opposite, so clearly someone at Starbucks knows what they're doing. Actually, someone at Starbucks really knows what they're doing, since they seem to have convinced everyone in Shanghai--a city where the official minimum wage is around seventy-five cents an hour and having a good job means you might take home a thousand dollars a month--that paying three bucks for a cup of what is basically just flavored is reasonable. The moral of the story? Buy stock in Starbucks while you can ... just avoid the egg rolls.
1.16.2008
Fook Hing Famous!
Yes, I'm back. Like LL Cool J in "I'm Bad," or the ghosts in Poltergiest. Or, I suppose, Poltergeist 2, if you want to be technical about it. And, let's face it, if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that the Internet is full of people who do indeed want to be technical about it ...
Anyway, onto the matter at hand. Or, to be technical about it (you know you want to be), the Fook Hing subject at hand. That is, the subject which has to do with Fook Hing. Who? Fook Hing the Coffin Maker, of course, owner (presumably) and sole propriety (possibly) of the one, the only Fook Hing Coffin Shop in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, as shown in the photo below:
Why--those of you who are regular readers are no doubt saying--are you posting this again, for like the kagillionth time? (Note: Given the fact that I am no longer living in China--and Seattle doesn't really even have a Chinatown--and have almost completely stopped posting anything, I don't actually believe that I have any regular readers. Or possibly readers, period.)(Note: for those of you who are non-regular readers--and if you read the preceding note, you'll note that includes all of you--not believing what I write is a prominent, possibly even the defining, characteristic of my writing.)
But I digress. (Also a prominent characteristic of my writing ...) The point is, when last we visited Fook Hing (for the third time--this is the fourth, as it turns out), I had just won a major award. And by a major award, for those of you to lazy to click that link I just put in--I can empathize, believe me--I mean that a Website called Signspotting paid me $50 bucks for, what it turns out, were the rights to my photo.
After cashing and spending my check (I have no idea how, but "on Tsing Tao and dan dan noodles" is probably not a bad guess), I didn't think much of it. That is, until I was wondering around Elliot Bay Books the other day, and--upon finding myself wandering through the travel section (like Caine in Kung Fu, but with less hair), I noticed the following book:
(Note: There was a Signspotting 1?)(Note: I know, I know--technically, it would have just been Signspotting ...)
Out of curiosity, I flipped open the book on the off chance my photo had been included, and what did I see on one of the first pages (two pages, even--22 AND 23!) that I flipped to? (You do know what's coming, right?). Yes, I saw the picture below, better known--to me, at least--as "my photo":
If you look a little closer--and now that you've read this far, why wouldn't you?--you can see that I do indeed have a photo credit, although it's a little blurry in this picture, which was definitely not--I repeat, NOT--taken from Amazon.com's "Search Inside This Book" feature using my name as a keyword and the old standby of ALT+PRINT SCREEN:
At long last, I'm completely and totally famous. I have to say, it's well deserved. Will I be seen out and about at the Chateau Marmont next week with Scarlett Johansson? I can only hope. But, probably. (I know, I'm married, but she's on the list, so it's totally cool. Or at least it was on that one episode of Friends. )
Anyway, if you're interested in buying the book--I haven't looked through it all, but I can tell you that pages 22 to 23 are fracking amazing!--you find it on Amazon for the low, low price of $9.99. Which, thanks to the sound fiscal policies of our current US administration, is something like 2 Euros for my European-based readers, so why wouldn't you? The only way it would be better is if I got some sort of royalties or money out of it, which I don't, sadly. However, if you want to just send me money anyway, feel free.
(Breaking News: Today--January 23, 2008, for those of you who are not yet sick of the "technical" joke--I received one free copy of Signspotting 2 in the mail today, presumably because my picture was used in said book, as I may have mentioned. So I sold the rights to my photo for $50 AND a free book. Which I actually bought. But oh well--thought that counts, etc. etc. etc.)
And ... I think that's it. Finally. Until next time, then. And yes, there will be a next time ...
Anyway, onto the matter at hand. Or, to be technical about it (you know you want to be), the Fook Hing subject at hand. That is, the subject which has to do with Fook Hing. Who? Fook Hing the Coffin Maker, of course, owner (presumably) and sole propriety (possibly) of the one, the only Fook Hing Coffin Shop in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, as shown in the photo below:
Why--those of you who are regular readers are no doubt saying--are you posting this again, for like the kagillionth time? (Note: Given the fact that I am no longer living in China--and Seattle doesn't really even have a Chinatown--and have almost completely stopped posting anything, I don't actually believe that I have any regular readers. Or possibly readers, period.)(Note: for those of you who are non-regular readers--and if you read the preceding note, you'll note that includes all of you--not believing what I write is a prominent, possibly even the defining, characteristic of my writing.)
But I digress. (Also a prominent characteristic of my writing ...) The point is, when last we visited Fook Hing (for the third time--this is the fourth, as it turns out), I had just won a major award. And by a major award, for those of you to lazy to click that link I just put in--I can empathize, believe me--I mean that a Website called Signspotting paid me $50 bucks for, what it turns out, were the rights to my photo.
After cashing and spending my check (I have no idea how, but "on Tsing Tao and dan dan noodles" is probably not a bad guess), I didn't think much of it. That is, until I was wondering around Elliot Bay Books the other day, and--upon finding myself wandering through the travel section (like Caine in Kung Fu, but with less hair), I noticed the following book:
(Note: There was a Signspotting 1?)(Note: I know, I know--technically, it would have just been Signspotting ...)
Out of curiosity, I flipped open the book on the off chance my photo had been included, and what did I see on one of the first pages (two pages, even--22 AND 23!) that I flipped to? (You do know what's coming, right?). Yes, I saw the picture below, better known--to me, at least--as "my photo":
If you look a little closer--and now that you've read this far, why wouldn't you?--you can see that I do indeed have a photo credit, although it's a little blurry in this picture, which was definitely not--I repeat, NOT--taken from Amazon.com's "Search Inside This Book" feature using my name as a keyword and the old standby of ALT+PRINT SCREEN:
At long last, I'm completely and totally famous. I have to say, it's well deserved. Will I be seen out and about at the Chateau Marmont next week with Scarlett Johansson? I can only hope. But, probably. (I know, I'm married, but she's on the list, so it's totally cool. Or at least it was on that one episode of Friends. )
Anyway, if you're interested in buying the book--I haven't looked through it all, but I can tell you that pages 22 to 23 are fracking amazing!--you find it on Amazon for the low, low price of $9.99. Which, thanks to the sound fiscal policies of our current US administration, is something like 2 Euros for my European-based readers, so why wouldn't you? The only way it would be better is if I got some sort of royalties or money out of it, which I don't, sadly. However, if you want to just send me money anyway, feel free.
(Breaking News: Today--January 23, 2008, for those of you who are not yet sick of the "technical" joke--I received one free copy of Signspotting 2 in the mail today, presumably because my picture was used in said book, as I may have mentioned. So I sold the rights to my photo for $50 AND a free book. Which I actually bought. But oh well--thought that counts, etc. etc. etc.)
And ... I think that's it. Finally. Until next time, then. And yes, there will be a next time ...
9.06.2007
Singapore: The City.
After we got back to the US after our five-week "leaving China the long way" vacation, I remember thinking something like: "You know, I was going to end my blog, but we saw a lot of cool stuff on our trip that I can blog about, so I think I'll post some vacation stuff and THEN end the blog. I should be able to do it in a month or so, I think." Turns out, I was just a bit off on that estimate. (Note to self: estimation not strong suit.) I mean, sure I did--as I have mentioned before--sell a house, buy a house, get several jobs (one of them even on a non-temporary basis), and have twins, but still, 13 months is a little slow.
But, at long, long, long, long last--so long, my Google page rank, which I worked so hard to bring up to 4, is now down to a paltry 3, which isn't even semi-respectable, in my book--we are almost to the end. Is this the last post? Not quite. We have, however, reached the last stop on our vacation: Singapore, someplace I reached (at this point) over a year ago. Yes, when news breaks, you'll hear it here first, obviously.
So, why go all the way from Bangkok to Singapore, a city everyone knows is both really clean AND really boring and isn't afraid to cane people, when the situation requires it? I could make up a bunch of really good, really intelligent reasons, but instead I'll be honest and tell you our trip to Singapore was made for exactly three reasons, neither of which is particularly good and/or intelligent, which--in no particular order--were:
1. I needed a Singapore Starbucks mug to complete my lame "Big Cities We Went to in Asia" Starbucks mug collection, which I realize is only one step up from Hard Rock t-shirts, but still--a step up is a step up. (Also, I still haven't gotten Tokyo: if you plan on going there anytime soon, hook me up!)
2. There was a Singaporean restaurant by our place that served this dish called Roti Prata, which is similar to Indian naan, that we really liked. REALLY liked.
3. The subway stop by our house (Everyone give it up for Xujiahui!) always had these big Visit Singapore! signs, with a picture of the Merlion statue (more on that later), and since the aforementioned Singaporean restaurant ALSO had a Merlion picture on it (but not the Starbucks mug, for some reason) , we decided we should probably go take one or more pictures of it.
And that's it: those are the reasons. There are, I suppose, worse reasons, but as reasons go for visiting a place (including paying for hotel rooms and plane tickets), they're not the best. Oh well. But the good news is, I actually really liked Singapore. Which is, from what I'm told, a pretty common reaction, especially when coming from some of the more chaotic cities of South East Asia, you're Saigons and Bangkoks, etc. Everything is clean, everything works, everything happens on time, every car actually stops for you in a crosswalk (a welcome change, but one that was hard to adjust to), and everyone is pretty polite--I actually witnessed people spontaneously all stop trying to get onto a subway car instead of just attempting to cram on in, a a la Tokyo or Shanghai. (Where they actually employ people to shove you into overcrowded cars.) And sure, those people were probably stopping because it's likely against some law to get on a full subway car, but if: a) it leads to uncrowded subway cars, and b) it doesn't ever effect me, I'm I'll for it!
And yes, I also know that after a while, the whole sterile nature of Singapore that makes it so nice to visit makes you go crazy--apparently--but I'm not sure how much I could mind. As long as there's somewhere open until midnight or so where I can drink beer in peace--without someone karaoking, natch--I'm happy: all night dance clubs are no longer a requirement for my life. (Nor were they ever, for the record.)
Anyway, upon arriving in Singapore, my first impressions--in order--were: boy, this airport is clean; boy, everyone actually waits in line here, nice!; boy, immigration is efficient; boy, it is really, really fucking hot out here (it's a degree off the equator ...); and boy, that is the cleanest freeway I have ever seen--if I dropped a french fry (also known as Freedom Fries, for you republicans who aren't currently picking up same-sex hookers in airport bathrooms--I think there are probably a few of you ...) on this freeway, I would still eat it, which is not something I would say about any freeway back home.
Good stuff, I know. Once we got into our hotel (Hotel 1929), two other things surprised me about the city--well, three if you want to count how insanely small our room was, which I'm obviously not. First, we were in a very pretty part of town: all old, restored (or just new and fake) colonial buildings. Second, a street right by us--which we walked down looking for a restaurant we'd read about--was apparently karaoke row, with all the karaoke girls such a street implies. I guess I'd thought that sort of thing--karaoke girls generally do more than just watch you sing (insert your own sex joke here--I can think of too many to pick one)--would be more under-the-covers (ding!) in Singapore, but I apparently I was wrong.
As for what to do in Singapore, I think the biggest attraction is Chinatown, which we skipped for obvious reasons. Another big attraction is the zoo, which we went to, and which was fun--despite the fact I saw a lion vomit, a cheetah with diarrhea (isn't that a Dr. Seuss book), and was almost peed on by an orangutan--although I won't be posting any pictures of any of that that here, since: 1) that stuff's all gross, and 2) a zoo is a zoo, mostly.
Anyway, all that means mostly we just walked and shopped and ate. And, of course, I took lots of pictures, like these ones--always with the great segues--of downtown Singapore:
Or this one of the Esplanade, which is ... well, basically behind me, in the pictures above. The funny Durian-looking thing is a theater. Or make that "theatre," Singapore being a former British colony and all:
An almost but not quite clever picture!
This is near another famous Singaporean site: the Boat Quay, which they pronounce "key," for no other reason I can fathom other than they are, as I said, a former British colony, and the Brits seem to have lots of trouble with English (Lavatory? Worcester? Leicester? Hello ....). The happy looking statue is of Sir Stamford Raffles, the "founder" of Singapore. I hear there is also a hotel named after him ...
Across the way is the Boat Quay, which is basically just a bunch of Indian restaurants, as far as I could tell. Albeit, good Indian restaurants with nice views, which makes them different in two ways from all Indian restaurants in Seattle:
More Boat Quay:
A view across the river taken from the Boat Quay. Don't quote me on this, but I believe that building is the Emperor Palace or something--although now it's just a museum. I mean, not JUST a museum. I'm sure it's a fine museum. Just, you know, not the Louvre or the Met or the British Museum ...
This random phallic symbol in the middle of the shopping district was a memorial for something ... Pre-viagra days, maybe? Just kidding. It's the Civilian War Memorial for WWII for all the people who died during the Japanese occupation, which is something of a theme in every Asian country that is not Japan.
You've read about, you've wondered about it, and now you can see it for yourself--the creatively named Merlion (half mermaid, half lion!) that is the symbol of Singapore:
More of the majestically mighty Merlion:
This ... well, I'm not sure what the point of this was. Maybe it's a baby Merlion? Either way, as a fountain, it's not quite as impressive as the big daddy Merlion:
I know, you'd think the Merlion would be the end of this post--and actually, I did to, so I'm not really sure what I was thinking by putting the pictures in this order--but it's not! This shot below is the Orchard Road, the most famous street in Singapore. You can probably guess where it gets its name ...
And, again referring back to an earlier picture--of Sir Stamford--here is the one, the only, the original world-famous Raffles hotel
(Note that there is, in fact, more than one. But only one original. Which makes sense, since you can't spell original without one! Oh, wait--you can't. But you can spell orgy! Not correctly, of course, and I'm not sure what it has to do with this picture I'm not sure--nothing, obviously, although that other type of picture would probably be more interesting--but it's funny, and that's what counts.)
Either way, more Raffles:
This drink here, as the smarter among you may have already guessed (don't feel bad--I'm sure some other people didn't guess, either) is a Singapore Sling, which was invented at the Raffles and which we bought at the Raffles. Which brings me to my one piece of Singapore travel advice, besides "Buy the barbecued stingray if you see it because that is some good shit": DON'T BUY A SINGAPORE SLING AT THE BAR IN THE RAFFLES HOTEL.
Or rather, don't buy that drink at the touristy Long Bar in the back of the Raffles. The actual bar where the Singapore Sling was invented--and where, presumably, said drink is still made by hand--is in the Raffles proper, which, as a classy hotel, has a dress code, which (run-on sentence, anyone?) basically means that men have to wear pants to get in. The problem, of course, is that when a city is basically sitting on the equator and both the temperature and humidity are in the mid-90s, who is wearing pants? Not me, that's for sure. While I did have a nice pair of mandals (classy guy sandals) and manpris (male capri pants), I didn't test the dress code, and instead we went to the bar in back. Which is open to everyone. And which sells Singapore Slings that are made in large margarita machines instead of by a bartender. For 10 US dollars a drink. Great money making scheme? Definitely, especially since the place was packed. Good experience? Hardly--we left after sucking down our Singapore Slings so fast that I got brain freeze, which you wouldn't think would be possible when the heat index is well over 100, but apparently is.
Whatever the case, here is a photo of our overpriced, machine-made Singapore Sling, along with some free peanuts:
And finally, here are some shots of the lovely Colonial-era architecture near our hotel:
And one more from outside the window of our very small hotel room:
Singapore being Singapore, there were signs like this everywhere, which--being good, experienced China hands, we ignored everywhere. Which led to a complete freak out like 2 minutes after I took this picture, after we both thought we'd just jaywalked right in front of a cop. Luckily, it was just a taxi, although clever of them to make taxis that look like cop cars ...
As I mentioned before, we went to the Singapore Zoo, and I took lots of pictures of animals and their bodily functions that I'm not posting here. This one photo, however, was too good not to post. Talk about your unfortunate names. Although, I guess, it could have been a Dumbshit Penguin or something, which would be worse ...
And, last but not least, the best supermarket ANYWHERE EVER. And I'm not just saying that because my name is Jason. Oh wait, yes I am. Sorry:
And, at long last, that's the end of my vacation photos from my vacation that ended like 14 months ago. Have I mentioned that I have, from time-to-time, been accused of procrastinating? Well, consider it mentioned! Better late than never ... :)
Previously, on my vacation:
- Bangkok: the Random.
- Bangkok: the Grand Palace.
- Siem Reap: Tonle Sap Lake.
- Siem Reap: Angkor at Dawn.
- Siem Reap: The Angkor Temples.
- Ang Thong Marine Park.
- Koh Samui.
- Tay Ninh: The Cao Dai Temple.
- The Cu Chi Tunnels.
- The Mekong Delta.
- Saigon: the Random. - Saigon: Reunification Hall.
- Saigon: the War Museum.
- Saigon: the Streets.
- Hoi An: The River.
- Hoi An: My Son.
- Hoi An: the People.
- Hoi An: the Streets.
- Hue: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hue: the River.
- Hue: the Imperial Tombs. - Hue: the Imperial Palace.
- Hue: the Streets.
- Halong Bay: the Videos.
- Halong Bay.
- Hanoi: the Random.
- Hanoi: Water Puppets.
- Hanoi: the "Hilton."
- Hanoi: the People.
- Hanoi: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hanoi: the Streets.
But, at long, long, long, long last--so long, my Google page rank, which I worked so hard to bring up to 4, is now down to a paltry 3, which isn't even semi-respectable, in my book--we are almost to the end. Is this the last post? Not quite. We have, however, reached the last stop on our vacation: Singapore, someplace I reached (at this point) over a year ago. Yes, when news breaks, you'll hear it here first, obviously.
So, why go all the way from Bangkok to Singapore, a city everyone knows is both really clean AND really boring and isn't afraid to cane people, when the situation requires it? I could make up a bunch of really good, really intelligent reasons, but instead I'll be honest and tell you our trip to Singapore was made for exactly three reasons, neither of which is particularly good and/or intelligent, which--in no particular order--were:
1. I needed a Singapore Starbucks mug to complete my lame "Big Cities We Went to in Asia" Starbucks mug collection, which I realize is only one step up from Hard Rock t-shirts, but still--a step up is a step up. (Also, I still haven't gotten Tokyo: if you plan on going there anytime soon, hook me up!)
2. There was a Singaporean restaurant by our place that served this dish called Roti Prata, which is similar to Indian naan, that we really liked. REALLY liked.
3. The subway stop by our house (Everyone give it up for Xujiahui!) always had these big Visit Singapore! signs, with a picture of the Merlion statue (more on that later), and since the aforementioned Singaporean restaurant ALSO had a Merlion picture on it (but not the Starbucks mug, for some reason) , we decided we should probably go take one or more pictures of it.
And that's it: those are the reasons. There are, I suppose, worse reasons, but as reasons go for visiting a place (including paying for hotel rooms and plane tickets), they're not the best. Oh well. But the good news is, I actually really liked Singapore. Which is, from what I'm told, a pretty common reaction, especially when coming from some of the more chaotic cities of South East Asia, you're Saigons and Bangkoks, etc. Everything is clean, everything works, everything happens on time, every car actually stops for you in a crosswalk (a welcome change, but one that was hard to adjust to), and everyone is pretty polite--I actually witnessed people spontaneously all stop trying to get onto a subway car instead of just attempting to cram on in, a a la Tokyo or Shanghai. (Where they actually employ people to shove you into overcrowded cars.) And sure, those people were probably stopping because it's likely against some law to get on a full subway car, but if: a) it leads to uncrowded subway cars, and b) it doesn't ever effect me, I'm I'll for it!
And yes, I also know that after a while, the whole sterile nature of Singapore that makes it so nice to visit makes you go crazy--apparently--but I'm not sure how much I could mind. As long as there's somewhere open until midnight or so where I can drink beer in peace--without someone karaoking, natch--I'm happy: all night dance clubs are no longer a requirement for my life. (Nor were they ever, for the record.)
Anyway, upon arriving in Singapore, my first impressions--in order--were: boy, this airport is clean; boy, everyone actually waits in line here, nice!; boy, immigration is efficient; boy, it is really, really fucking hot out here (it's a degree off the equator ...); and boy, that is the cleanest freeway I have ever seen--if I dropped a french fry (also known as Freedom Fries, for you republicans who aren't currently picking up same-sex hookers in airport bathrooms--I think there are probably a few of you ...) on this freeway, I would still eat it, which is not something I would say about any freeway back home.
Good stuff, I know. Once we got into our hotel (Hotel 1929), two other things surprised me about the city--well, three if you want to count how insanely small our room was, which I'm obviously not. First, we were in a very pretty part of town: all old, restored (or just new and fake) colonial buildings. Second, a street right by us--which we walked down looking for a restaurant we'd read about--was apparently karaoke row, with all the karaoke girls such a street implies. I guess I'd thought that sort of thing--karaoke girls generally do more than just watch you sing (insert your own sex joke here--I can think of too many to pick one)--would be more under-the-covers (ding!) in Singapore, but I apparently I was wrong.
As for what to do in Singapore, I think the biggest attraction is Chinatown, which we skipped for obvious reasons. Another big attraction is the zoo, which we went to, and which was fun--despite the fact I saw a lion vomit, a cheetah with diarrhea (isn't that a Dr. Seuss book), and was almost peed on by an orangutan--although I won't be posting any pictures of any of that that here, since: 1) that stuff's all gross, and 2) a zoo is a zoo, mostly.
Anyway, all that means mostly we just walked and shopped and ate. And, of course, I took lots of pictures, like these ones--always with the great segues--of downtown Singapore:
Or this one of the Esplanade, which is ... well, basically behind me, in the pictures above. The funny Durian-looking thing is a theater. Or make that "theatre," Singapore being a former British colony and all:
An almost but not quite clever picture!
This is near another famous Singaporean site: the Boat Quay, which they pronounce "key," for no other reason I can fathom other than they are, as I said, a former British colony, and the Brits seem to have lots of trouble with English (Lavatory? Worcester? Leicester? Hello ....). The happy looking statue is of Sir Stamford Raffles, the "founder" of Singapore. I hear there is also a hotel named after him ...
Across the way is the Boat Quay, which is basically just a bunch of Indian restaurants, as far as I could tell. Albeit, good Indian restaurants with nice views, which makes them different in two ways from all Indian restaurants in Seattle:
More Boat Quay:
A view across the river taken from the Boat Quay. Don't quote me on this, but I believe that building is the Emperor Palace or something--although now it's just a museum. I mean, not JUST a museum. I'm sure it's a fine museum. Just, you know, not the Louvre or the Met or the British Museum ...
This random phallic symbol in the middle of the shopping district was a memorial for something ... Pre-viagra days, maybe? Just kidding. It's the Civilian War Memorial for WWII for all the people who died during the Japanese occupation, which is something of a theme in every Asian country that is not Japan.
You've read about, you've wondered about it, and now you can see it for yourself--the creatively named Merlion (half mermaid, half lion!) that is the symbol of Singapore:
More of the majestically mighty Merlion:
This ... well, I'm not sure what the point of this was. Maybe it's a baby Merlion? Either way, as a fountain, it's not quite as impressive as the big daddy Merlion:
I know, you'd think the Merlion would be the end of this post--and actually, I did to, so I'm not really sure what I was thinking by putting the pictures in this order--but it's not! This shot below is the Orchard Road, the most famous street in Singapore. You can probably guess where it gets its name ...
And, again referring back to an earlier picture--of Sir Stamford--here is the one, the only, the original world-famous Raffles hotel
(Note that there is, in fact, more than one. But only one original. Which makes sense, since you can't spell original without one! Oh, wait--you can't. But you can spell orgy! Not correctly, of course, and I'm not sure what it has to do with this picture I'm not sure--nothing, obviously, although that other type of picture would probably be more interesting--but it's funny, and that's what counts.)
Either way, more Raffles:
This drink here, as the smarter among you may have already guessed (don't feel bad--I'm sure some other people didn't guess, either) is a Singapore Sling, which was invented at the Raffles and which we bought at the Raffles. Which brings me to my one piece of Singapore travel advice, besides "Buy the barbecued stingray if you see it because that is some good shit": DON'T BUY A SINGAPORE SLING AT THE BAR IN THE RAFFLES HOTEL.
Or rather, don't buy that drink at the touristy Long Bar in the back of the Raffles. The actual bar where the Singapore Sling was invented--and where, presumably, said drink is still made by hand--is in the Raffles proper, which, as a classy hotel, has a dress code, which (run-on sentence, anyone?) basically means that men have to wear pants to get in. The problem, of course, is that when a city is basically sitting on the equator and both the temperature and humidity are in the mid-90s, who is wearing pants? Not me, that's for sure. While I did have a nice pair of mandals (classy guy sandals) and manpris (male capri pants), I didn't test the dress code, and instead we went to the bar in back. Which is open to everyone. And which sells Singapore Slings that are made in large margarita machines instead of by a bartender. For 10 US dollars a drink. Great money making scheme? Definitely, especially since the place was packed. Good experience? Hardly--we left after sucking down our Singapore Slings so fast that I got brain freeze, which you wouldn't think would be possible when the heat index is well over 100, but apparently is.
Whatever the case, here is a photo of our overpriced, machine-made Singapore Sling, along with some free peanuts:
And finally, here are some shots of the lovely Colonial-era architecture near our hotel:
And one more from outside the window of our very small hotel room:
Singapore being Singapore, there were signs like this everywhere, which--being good, experienced China hands, we ignored everywhere. Which led to a complete freak out like 2 minutes after I took this picture, after we both thought we'd just jaywalked right in front of a cop. Luckily, it was just a taxi, although clever of them to make taxis that look like cop cars ...
As I mentioned before, we went to the Singapore Zoo, and I took lots of pictures of animals and their bodily functions that I'm not posting here. This one photo, however, was too good not to post. Talk about your unfortunate names. Although, I guess, it could have been a Dumbshit Penguin or something, which would be worse ...
And, last but not least, the best supermarket ANYWHERE EVER. And I'm not just saying that because my name is Jason. Oh wait, yes I am. Sorry:
And, at long last, that's the end of my vacation photos from my vacation that ended like 14 months ago. Have I mentioned that I have, from time-to-time, been accused of procrastinating? Well, consider it mentioned! Better late than never ... :)
Previously, on my vacation:
- Bangkok: the Random.
- Bangkok: the Grand Palace.
- Siem Reap: Tonle Sap Lake.
- Siem Reap: Angkor at Dawn.
- Siem Reap: The Angkor Temples.
- Ang Thong Marine Park.
- Koh Samui.
- Tay Ninh: The Cao Dai Temple.
- The Cu Chi Tunnels.
- The Mekong Delta.
- Saigon: the Random. - Saigon: Reunification Hall.
- Saigon: the War Museum.
- Saigon: the Streets.
- Hoi An: The River.
- Hoi An: My Son.
- Hoi An: the People.
- Hoi An: the Streets.
- Hue: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hue: the River.
- Hue: the Imperial Tombs. - Hue: the Imperial Palace.
- Hue: the Streets.
- Halong Bay: the Videos.
- Halong Bay.
- Hanoi: the Random.
- Hanoi: Water Puppets.
- Hanoi: the "Hilton."
- Hanoi: the People.
- Hanoi: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hanoi: the Streets.
6.08.2007
Bangkok: The Random.
Much like Shanghai and Beijing, when you walk around a city as big as Bangkok for any length of time, you're going to see some weird stuff. Whether it's whole roasted pigs for sale, people fishing in garbage, funny signs (everyone give it up for the Fook Hing Coffin Shop!), or just the ever popular public urination, you're bound to see something worth taking a picture of. If, you know, you have your camera ready, which is something I got fairly good at. There's still a few shot I wish I would have gotten--the bikini show in the middle of the mall comes to mind, if only for the crowd shots (the Bailey's tent just wasn't as satisfying)--but what can you do?
At any rate, after all that, here's a few of the funny shots I got in Bangkok. There aren't many, since I was only there for like 48 hours, but you do what you can, apparently. This first shot was an ad on the side of a tour bus by the Grand Palace. I'm not sure why it cracked me up so much, but I kept laughing every time I looked at it. On a possibly related note, I had just walked for roughly 30 minutes in 90 degree heat. (And, as I've said before, it's not a dry heat ...):
Ah, but what better way to cool down after such a walk than a Frappuccino? Luckily, we went to Starbucks later. I got a drink. For Jason. Apparently, they thought I was ordering for my sci-fi alter ego, a roguish young Corellian smuggler who does a kick-ass Kessel run. You know you know what I'm talking about:
This store would do a mean business in San Francisco. Ha-ha:
And yes, as always, public urination! What it means that I have multiple public urination pictures I have no idea, but nothing good, I'm sure. Oh well:
Next up, Singapore, where we go in search of Captain Jack Sparrow. Well, not really. We did, however, go in search of: a) a Singapore Starbucks mug; 2) Roti Prata (sort of like Singaporean Naan or something); and IV) a picture of the Merlion, the symbol of Singapore. Those are good reasons to go to a city, right? Well, they were good enough for us, anyway ...
Previously, on my vacation:
- Bangkok: The Grand Palace.
- Siem Reap: Tonle Sap Lake.
- Siem Reap: Angkor at Dawn.
- Siem Reap: The Angkor Temples.
- Ang Thong Marine Park.
- Koh Samui.
- Tay Ninh: The Cao Dai Temple.
- The Cu Chi Tunnels.
- The Mekong Delta.
- Saigon: the Random.
- Saigon: Reunification Hall.
- Saigon: the War Museum.
- Saigon: the Streets.
- Hoi An: The River.
- Hoi An: My Son.
- Hoi An: the People.
- Hoi An: the Streets.
- Hue: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hue: the River.
- Hue: the Imperial Tombs.
- Hue: the Imperial Palace.
- Hue: the Streets.
- Halong Bay: the Videos.
- Halong Bay.
- Hanoi: the Random.
- Hanoi: Water Puppets.
- Hanoi: the "Hilton."
- Hanoi: the People.
- Hanoi: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hanoi: the Streets.
At any rate, after all that, here's a few of the funny shots I got in Bangkok. There aren't many, since I was only there for like 48 hours, but you do what you can, apparently. This first shot was an ad on the side of a tour bus by the Grand Palace. I'm not sure why it cracked me up so much, but I kept laughing every time I looked at it. On a possibly related note, I had just walked for roughly 30 minutes in 90 degree heat. (And, as I've said before, it's not a dry heat ...):
Ah, but what better way to cool down after such a walk than a Frappuccino? Luckily, we went to Starbucks later. I got a drink. For Jason. Apparently, they thought I was ordering for my sci-fi alter ego, a roguish young Corellian smuggler who does a kick-ass Kessel run. You know you know what I'm talking about:
This store would do a mean business in San Francisco. Ha-ha:
And yes, as always, public urination! What it means that I have multiple public urination pictures I have no idea, but nothing good, I'm sure. Oh well:
Next up, Singapore, where we go in search of Captain Jack Sparrow. Well, not really. We did, however, go in search of: a) a Singapore Starbucks mug; 2) Roti Prata (sort of like Singaporean Naan or something); and IV) a picture of the Merlion, the symbol of Singapore. Those are good reasons to go to a city, right? Well, they were good enough for us, anyway ...
Previously, on my vacation:
- Bangkok: The Grand Palace.
- Siem Reap: Tonle Sap Lake.
- Siem Reap: Angkor at Dawn.
- Siem Reap: The Angkor Temples.
- Ang Thong Marine Park.
- Koh Samui.
- Tay Ninh: The Cao Dai Temple.
- The Cu Chi Tunnels.
- The Mekong Delta.
- Saigon: the Random.
- Saigon: Reunification Hall.
- Saigon: the War Museum.
- Saigon: the Streets.
- Hoi An: The River.
- Hoi An: My Son.
- Hoi An: the People.
- Hoi An: the Streets.
- Hue: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hue: the River.
- Hue: the Imperial Tombs.
- Hue: the Imperial Palace.
- Hue: the Streets.
- Halong Bay: the Videos.
- Halong Bay.
- Hanoi: the Random.
- Hanoi: Water Puppets.
- Hanoi: the "Hilton."
- Hanoi: the People.
- Hanoi: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hanoi: the Streets.
5.31.2007
Bangkok: The Grand Palace.
Well, it's been a while since my last post. Possibly a record amount of time, but I'm too lazy to go back and check. Anyone else should feel free to do so, however--but just don't tell me about it. In my defense, since we last spoke (that is, since I last blogged) my wife has had twins, so I've been slightly busy. And yes, that is reverse hyperbole, thank you very much. Some might call it understatement, but I call it reverbole, because that just sounds cooler.
Anyway, after a few days in Cambodia--covered in the last few posts, natch--it was off to Bangkok. Again. But this time we planned to stay and look around for a few days, since Holly and I had never really properly explored Bangkok. For example, on our first trip there, we decided to skip the Grand Palace--the biggest attraction in the city, so sort of like going to London and not bothering to go see Big Ben, or passing on Notre Dame and the Eiffel Tower in Paris--because it was really, really hot and we didn't want to wear pants. Not because we don't like pants--I myself am fine with them--but because you HAVE to wear pants to get into he Grand Palace. It's one of those sort of places. So we definitely had stuff to see in Bangkok. Plus, our friends (still with us after 8 days in Samui and 4 in Siem Reap) had mostly never been to a BAMC (Big Asian Mega City), so it was fun to show them around one, since it gave them some idea of what our past year had been like in Shanghai. And it let me--after a friend had commented that a mall we were in (we'd heard good things about the food court) was so crowded it was sort of freaking him out and was this what it was like in Shanghai?--say annoying, I'm-so-cool things like "No, Shanghai is crowded. Bangkok only has 6 million people. Shanghai has, like, 20." Now that I think about it, despite all my tour-guiding during the trip, no one ever offered to buy me a drink. Weird.
But anyway, Bangkok. Despite the song--and its reputation--Bangkok is actually a very cool place, city-wise. In fact, one of our Hong Kong friends said that people from the HK actually fly there as a weekend getaway to eat and shop, since--apparently--furniture shopping is better in the BKK than in the HK. (And trust me, when Hong Kong people are going TO your city to shop, you have some pretty fucking good shopping. Seriously.) Besides the good shopping, it's got cool things to see, cool bars, and a bunch of really, really good restaurants, including one called the Blue Elephant that you should definitely eat at if you go to the BKK. I've had a lot of Thai food in a lot of different places, and, for the most part, I tend to think it all tastes fairly similar: good, but the quality doesn't change that much just because you're IN Thailand. (Unlike, say, with Chinese food.) Anyway, the Blue Elephant was one of the only places I've ever had Thai food where it was noticeably--very noticeably---better than other Thai places.
As for all the other stuff--the One Night in Bangkok aspect--it's still there, but it's not overwhelming. At least, I don't think it is. If you avoid the certain areas where that sort of thing is concentrated, the only real evidence you'll find of it is that, everywhere you look, you see Western men with Thai women. It's actually pretty interesting just watching them, I found. I mean, maybe it was just my imagination, but it always seemed to me that the girls with the old men always looked a bit sad if you caught there eye, maybe a bit embarrassed even. Both of which would make sense, to an extent. At any rate, the girls with the younger guys--that is, guys there age--seemed a bit more pleased with the whole situation. And the girls without guys ... well, let's just say that looks they give you might be best described as direct. Really direct. So direct that there should be some other word to describe it--some word above--direct, although I can't think of one right at the moment. Not even a funny one, which is odd. Must be because I'm hungry. Oh well.
Anyway--again--in addition to cruising around the city eating, we also managed to see some of the sites. Like the Chatuchak Weekend Market, which I recommend if you happen to be in Bangkok on a weekend. Duh. What kind of stuff can you buy there? Everything, I think. Seriously: the market covers 35 acres or so and has about 15,000 shops. So really, you can buy everything. As for us, while we looked at all manner of things, we only came away with one item: an England football jersey for our dog that said "Dogham" on the back. Yes, just the sort of thing you want to pick up when at large, exotic markets in large, exotic foreign cities: kitschy dog clothing. And it didn't even fit. Oh well.
We also--after four or so stops in Bangkok--finally managed to see the Grand Palace, which was definitely very cool. Well, not literally. Literally it was really, really hot, since--as I mentioned early--you can wear shorts. But from a "hey, look at this!" perspective it was cool.
(Speaking of clothing, they are pretty serious about the dress code. We saw some stupid backpacker hippies in shorts and flip-flops get refused entry when we were there, to our great amusement. You can wear sandals, though--I did. And ones where my toes stuck out the front, which is also supposed to be another no-no. I think the difference is that I had on nice man sandals, AKA "mandals," and not some junky Tevas or something.)
What was the Grand Palace like? Grand. Duh. It used to be the home of the King--before becoming a tourist attraction, apparently--so it was slightly fancy. And by slightly, I mean over-the-top rococo, the sort of thing Donald Trump might build in the middle of a particularly bad acid trip. Think gold. LOTS of gold. As you'll see eventually, but not yet. For now, cool elephant pillars! (Hint: elephants are, I believe, the national symbol of Thailand.)
This is actually the side of a trash can--that's how bling the Grand Temple is:
And here we have the Grand Temple itself, from the outside. I'd tell you what all the buildings are, but the Wikipedia entry on it is shockingly short, and I'm too lazy to look up the info. anywhere else. Plus, I have things to do before The Sopranos comes on. I will, however, tell you that one of them holds the Emerald Buddha (no pictures allowed), a 26" high statue of Buddha made out of emerald (who would have guessed) that is apparently the most holy thing in Thailand. Or something. Mostly I just remember that they had different outfits (all gold, natch) that the king himself dresses the old Emerald Buddha in based on the season of the year. I'd say something mocking about that, but given the way America is being run these days, I'm not exactly coming from a position of strength:
The changing of the guard, Grand Palace style. A bit less formal than in London, which is nice:
This is just inside the front door. I'm not sure who that statue is of--some sort of medicine guy / healer, if I'm remembering something I looked at for 30 seconds 10 months ago correctly--but there's a chance, ever so slight, that I might be wrong:
A creepy medicine guy / healer, obviously:
A close-up of his offering bowls. I like this picture so much, it is currently hanging up in our house right at this very moment. Jealous much? No, I didn't really think so:
Assorted temple pictures:
If I had to choose one word to describe the tile work on this building, that word would be "intricate." For the record:
These things are cool. They're yaksha, which is apparently some sort of mythological demon guardian in Buddhism. Or something. At any rate, they are cool. (Again, not heat cool.) And, for those of you who care, they are also featured on the Starbucks Bangkok city mug, which I know because: a) I have it (better than Hard Rock t-shirts, I still say!); and b) I almost didn't buy it because, initially, I didn't know what was on the side of the city mug, and I didn't think I could buy it if I couldn't actually explain what was on the side. Yes, I live in a complicated moral world:
More yaksha:
You just know the Donald has one of the squirreled away in a corner of Trump Plaza somewhere:
More fancy tile-work:
Close up of said tile-work. I'm thinking about doing our guest bathroom like this ....
I'll use this scheme for the master bath. It's classier:
Close-up of some random little meditating guy. This level of detail covers everything the Grand Temple. And it's a big area. Not weekend market big, but big:
More random detail work:
I have no idea what these guys are or what they are supposed to represent, but as I like this picture and this IS, as I have pointed out in the past, my blog .... well, you know:
One more:
Next up, a bit more from Bangkok ...
Previously, on my vacation:
- Siem Reap: Tonle Sap Lake.
- Siem Reap: Angkor at Dawn.
- Siem Reap: The Angkor Temples.
- Ang Thong Marine Park.
- Koh Samui.
- Tay Ninh: The Cao Dai Temple.
- The Cu Chi Tunnels.
- The Mekong Delta.
- Saigon: the Random.
- Saigon: Reunification Hall.
- Saigon: the War Museum.
- Saigon: the Streets.
- Hoi An: The River.
- Hoi An: My Son.
- Hoi An: the People.
- Hoi An: the Streets.
- Hue: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hue: the River.
- Hue: the Imperial Tombs.
- Hue: the Imperial Palace.
- Hue: the Streets.
- Halong Bay: the Videos.
- Halong Bay.
- Hanoi: the Random.
- Hanoi: Water Puppets.
- Hanoi: the "Hilton."
- Hanoi: the People.
- Hanoi: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hanoi: the Streets.
Anyway, after a few days in Cambodia--covered in the last few posts, natch--it was off to Bangkok. Again. But this time we planned to stay and look around for a few days, since Holly and I had never really properly explored Bangkok. For example, on our first trip there, we decided to skip the Grand Palace--the biggest attraction in the city, so sort of like going to London and not bothering to go see Big Ben, or passing on Notre Dame and the Eiffel Tower in Paris--because it was really, really hot and we didn't want to wear pants. Not because we don't like pants--I myself am fine with them--but because you HAVE to wear pants to get into he Grand Palace. It's one of those sort of places. So we definitely had stuff to see in Bangkok. Plus, our friends (still with us after 8 days in Samui and 4 in Siem Reap) had mostly never been to a BAMC (Big Asian Mega City), so it was fun to show them around one, since it gave them some idea of what our past year had been like in Shanghai. And it let me--after a friend had commented that a mall we were in (we'd heard good things about the food court) was so crowded it was sort of freaking him out and was this what it was like in Shanghai?--say annoying, I'm-so-cool things like "No, Shanghai is crowded. Bangkok only has 6 million people. Shanghai has, like, 20." Now that I think about it, despite all my tour-guiding during the trip, no one ever offered to buy me a drink. Weird.
But anyway, Bangkok. Despite the song--and its reputation--Bangkok is actually a very cool place, city-wise. In fact, one of our Hong Kong friends said that people from the HK actually fly there as a weekend getaway to eat and shop, since--apparently--furniture shopping is better in the BKK than in the HK. (And trust me, when Hong Kong people are going TO your city to shop, you have some pretty fucking good shopping. Seriously.) Besides the good shopping, it's got cool things to see, cool bars, and a bunch of really, really good restaurants, including one called the Blue Elephant that you should definitely eat at if you go to the BKK. I've had a lot of Thai food in a lot of different places, and, for the most part, I tend to think it all tastes fairly similar: good, but the quality doesn't change that much just because you're IN Thailand. (Unlike, say, with Chinese food.) Anyway, the Blue Elephant was one of the only places I've ever had Thai food where it was noticeably--very noticeably---better than other Thai places.
As for all the other stuff--the One Night in Bangkok aspect--it's still there, but it's not overwhelming. At least, I don't think it is. If you avoid the certain areas where that sort of thing is concentrated, the only real evidence you'll find of it is that, everywhere you look, you see Western men with Thai women. It's actually pretty interesting just watching them, I found. I mean, maybe it was just my imagination, but it always seemed to me that the girls with the old men always looked a bit sad if you caught there eye, maybe a bit embarrassed even. Both of which would make sense, to an extent. At any rate, the girls with the younger guys--that is, guys there age--seemed a bit more pleased with the whole situation. And the girls without guys ... well, let's just say that looks they give you might be best described as direct. Really direct. So direct that there should be some other word to describe it--some word above--direct, although I can't think of one right at the moment. Not even a funny one, which is odd. Must be because I'm hungry. Oh well.
Anyway--again--in addition to cruising around the city eating, we also managed to see some of the sites. Like the Chatuchak Weekend Market, which I recommend if you happen to be in Bangkok on a weekend. Duh. What kind of stuff can you buy there? Everything, I think. Seriously: the market covers 35 acres or so and has about 15,000 shops. So really, you can buy everything. As for us, while we looked at all manner of things, we only came away with one item: an England football jersey for our dog that said "Dogham" on the back. Yes, just the sort of thing you want to pick up when at large, exotic markets in large, exotic foreign cities: kitschy dog clothing. And it didn't even fit. Oh well.
We also--after four or so stops in Bangkok--finally managed to see the Grand Palace, which was definitely very cool. Well, not literally. Literally it was really, really hot, since--as I mentioned early--you can wear shorts. But from a "hey, look at this!" perspective it was cool.
(Speaking of clothing, they are pretty serious about the dress code. We saw some stupid backpacker hippies in shorts and flip-flops get refused entry when we were there, to our great amusement. You can wear sandals, though--I did. And ones where my toes stuck out the front, which is also supposed to be another no-no. I think the difference is that I had on nice man sandals, AKA "mandals," and not some junky Tevas or something.)
What was the Grand Palace like? Grand. Duh. It used to be the home of the King--before becoming a tourist attraction, apparently--so it was slightly fancy. And by slightly, I mean over-the-top rococo, the sort of thing Donald Trump might build in the middle of a particularly bad acid trip. Think gold. LOTS of gold. As you'll see eventually, but not yet. For now, cool elephant pillars! (Hint: elephants are, I believe, the national symbol of Thailand.)
This is actually the side of a trash can--that's how bling the Grand Temple is:
And here we have the Grand Temple itself, from the outside. I'd tell you what all the buildings are, but the Wikipedia entry on it is shockingly short, and I'm too lazy to look up the info. anywhere else. Plus, I have things to do before The Sopranos comes on. I will, however, tell you that one of them holds the Emerald Buddha (no pictures allowed), a 26" high statue of Buddha made out of emerald (who would have guessed) that is apparently the most holy thing in Thailand. Or something. Mostly I just remember that they had different outfits (all gold, natch) that the king himself dresses the old Emerald Buddha in based on the season of the year. I'd say something mocking about that, but given the way America is being run these days, I'm not exactly coming from a position of strength:
The changing of the guard, Grand Palace style. A bit less formal than in London, which is nice:
This is just inside the front door. I'm not sure who that statue is of--some sort of medicine guy / healer, if I'm remembering something I looked at for 30 seconds 10 months ago correctly--but there's a chance, ever so slight, that I might be wrong:
A creepy medicine guy / healer, obviously:
A close-up of his offering bowls. I like this picture so much, it is currently hanging up in our house right at this very moment. Jealous much? No, I didn't really think so:
Assorted temple pictures:
If I had to choose one word to describe the tile work on this building, that word would be "intricate." For the record:
These things are cool. They're yaksha, which is apparently some sort of mythological demon guardian in Buddhism. Or something. At any rate, they are cool. (Again, not heat cool.) And, for those of you who care, they are also featured on the Starbucks Bangkok city mug, which I know because: a) I have it (better than Hard Rock t-shirts, I still say!); and b) I almost didn't buy it because, initially, I didn't know what was on the side of the city mug, and I didn't think I could buy it if I couldn't actually explain what was on the side. Yes, I live in a complicated moral world:
More yaksha:
You just know the Donald has one of the squirreled away in a corner of Trump Plaza somewhere:
More fancy tile-work:
Close up of said tile-work. I'm thinking about doing our guest bathroom like this ....
I'll use this scheme for the master bath. It's classier:
Close-up of some random little meditating guy. This level of detail covers everything the Grand Temple. And it's a big area. Not weekend market big, but big:
More random detail work:
I have no idea what these guys are or what they are supposed to represent, but as I like this picture and this IS, as I have pointed out in the past, my blog .... well, you know:
One more:
Next up, a bit more from Bangkok ...
Previously, on my vacation:
- Siem Reap: Tonle Sap Lake.
- Siem Reap: Angkor at Dawn.
- Siem Reap: The Angkor Temples.
- Ang Thong Marine Park.
- Koh Samui.
- Tay Ninh: The Cao Dai Temple.
- The Cu Chi Tunnels.
- The Mekong Delta.
- Saigon: the Random.
- Saigon: Reunification Hall.
- Saigon: the War Museum.
- Saigon: the Streets.
- Hoi An: The River.
- Hoi An: My Son.
- Hoi An: the People.
- Hoi An: the Streets.
- Hue: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hue: the River.
- Hue: the Imperial Tombs.
- Hue: the Imperial Palace.
- Hue: the Streets.
- Halong Bay: the Videos.
- Halong Bay.
- Hanoi: the Random.
- Hanoi: Water Puppets.
- Hanoi: the "Hilton."
- Hanoi: the People.
- Hanoi: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hanoi: the Streets.
4.30.2007
Siem Reap: Tonle Sap Lake.
After watching the sun rise of Angkor, what do you think we did? Go back home and fall back into bed? WRONG. No, like good tourists, we had something else booked post-Angkor, so rather than the aforementioned bed option, we headed to a cafe next to our hotel and drank cup after cup of instant Nescafe, a coffee-like substance that apparently contains caffeine, which is all I was really after--like pretty much everything else in Cambodia, it only cost one dollar--and then regrouped with our guide a few hours later to go of to Tonle Sap (aka "Great") Lake.
Why go to a great lake? Not just to see the lake, of course. No, having seen Lake Superior multiple times, it takes more than just another big lake to impress me: it takes a big lake with people LIVING ON IT. More specifically, people I could go stare at/take pictures of while thinking, "Look at these crazy people--the live ON a lake!" Did I feel bad while driving down very bad roads for an hour to go stare at really poor people living on a lake? At first. But only a little. I mean, after all, I figured they could use the money. Because, really, when you live on a lake, you don't have a lot of career options. You can be a fisherman and ... a fisherman's wife, I guess. So really, I thought I was probably helping them out by going to stare at them and take pictures.
Of course, when we actually got there--hordes of tourists had already arrived, of course--and found out how much we had to pay per person to be ferried around in a crappy little boat, I was a little less pleased about the entire situation. I can't remember exactly how much they made us each pay--it was a while ago, at this point--but I remember thinking it was a lot. Like 15 US Dollars or something. And when you're in a country where everything costs a dollar, that's a hell of a lot of money. More than I would normally be willing to pay to go stare at poor people living on a lake. But of after driving all that way out there, we couldn't really say no--well, we could, but I don't think anyone was looking forward to the hour ride back to Siem Reap down the dirt "road" we had come in on, especially considering the "shocks" on our van--so we paid our money and got taken for a ride.
All that being said, it was actually pretty cool. Was it $15 of my not-very-hard-earned money cool? Possibly. Well, possibly to probably. After all, in the US, you can't go gawk at poor people living on boats, no matter HOW much you pay. (Plus, in the areas of the country where I imagine people living on boats--I'm thinking the South and swamps--you have to worry about getting winged with a shotgun.) Plus, while we had seen people living on the water in Halong Bay, this was slightly different: in Halong Bay, people were living in tiny little communities in houses that were clearly primarily boats; on Tonle Sap lake, people were living in houses that just happened to float, as you can see in the following picture.
(Side note: That green plant-stuff was everywhere around the village. It seemed to only grow in places where the water was very calm, which it definitely was around the village due to, I presume, two things: the amount of houses/boats, and their proximity to the shore. Once you got out into the actual open water of the lake, the plants disappeared. And if you're wondering why they live right next the shore but on the water, I have one word for you: flooding.)
Main street:
Women hard at work doing ... whatever it is women there do. Something with fish, possibly? Well, that or laundry. That's only partially a joke, as you will see shortly:
If you think this looks like a school, guess what? For once, you're right: it is a school. A FLOATING school. (To be fair, Halong Bay also had floating schools. Just not such schooly-looking ones.) How much cooler would school have been as a kid if your school actually floated? Way cooler, obviously. And much safer in a flood to boot ....
See? Laundry. I don't know if we came on laundry day or what, but there was laundry everywhere. And since it made for colorful pictures, I have a lot of snaps of said laundry. I kept hoping they had some way of doing their laundry other than dunking it in the lake, since--while I did see much laundry--I did not see a lot in the way of septic systems. Which is something the Halong Bay houses definitely had ...
What do you do for recess when you go to a floating school? Go play on a floating basketball court, natch. Already, the kids I saw playing here were more fundamentally sound than 95% of NBA players. And really, that's not saying a lot:
More laundry. Some of that looks like it might need to be washed again. I'm just saying:
I think this counts as taking a stroll around the neighborhood:
For all you men out there, you think it's bad when your wife wants you to rearrange the furniture? Check out this poor guy. "I think our house would look better over there. Oh no, wait. Over there. But maybe if you turn it the other way? Actually, maybe it was better where it was ...."
Apparently I have a laundry obsession. Unfortunately, I never took a psych class in college, so I have no idea what that might mean:
My favorite part about this picture is the fact that one kid is using an old plastic jug for a life preserver. I wonder if this counts as recycling?
I like this picture:
A beefcake photo for those with a predilection for in-shape subsistence fishermen. I'm sure there's a website somewhere for you ....
Another photo I like. The laundry is coincidental, I swear:
Some slice-of-life photos, for those of you who don't want to go to Siem Reap (which you should) and drive an hour out of town and pay $15 (or whatever) to stare at poor people and so will never see the floating village of Tonle Sap Lake. I'm sure there are many of you out there. Go figure:
One plus of living on a lake: You can totally jump off your roof. And not in a suicidal/cry for help type way either, but just for the hell of it ...
I think this is the local mansion. Maybe:
More eye boats. The better to see you with, my dearies:
It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out why all the boats had water tubes like this hanging over the side. (Did I mention I work with computers all day, ever?) For those of you who also work with computers, I will give you a hint: water cools engines ...
I love this picture because it is so overly dramatic. These guys are heading to the open water--you can see all the green plants disappear suddenly. Where they are going, I have no idea .. based on the standing guy's pose, I'd say across the Delaware to fight the Hessians. I'd be wrong, but that's what I'd say ...
If you see this kid, float the other way. Sure, he looks cute now, but just wait until he latches on to the side of your boat like a lamprey and won't let go until you give him money. Luckily, I took this picture while he wasn't looking, thus avoiding the boat-latch. The people in the boat next to us, however, were not so lucky:
Our next event is the boat-pulling competition, ladies and gentleman. Boat pulling!
The Cambodian flag, for those of you who haven't seen it:
And with that, we made our way back to Bangkok, to spend not one but two nights. And if you think I didn't sing that song approximately 5,000 times when I was there, you'd be wrong. Ask Holly if you don't believe me.
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble ....
Previously, on my vacation:
- Siem Reap: Angkor at Dawn.
- Siem Reap: The Angkor Temples.
- Ang Thong Marine Park.
- Koh Samui.
- Tay Ninh: The Cao Dai Temple.
- The Cu Chi Tunnels.
- The Mekong Delta.
- Saigon: the Random.
- Saigon: Reunification Hall.
- Saigon: the War Museum.
- Saigon: the Streets.
- Hoi An: The River.
- Hoi An: My Son.
- Hoi An: the People.
- Hoi An: the Streets.
- Hue: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hue: the River.
- Hue: the Imperial Tombs.
- Hue: the Imperial Palace.
- Hue: the Streets.
- Halong Bay: the Videos.
- Halong Bay.
- Hanoi: the Random.
- Hanoi: Water Puppets.
- Hanoi: the "Hilton."
- Hanoi: the People.
- Hanoi: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hanoi: the Streets.
Why go to a great lake? Not just to see the lake, of course. No, having seen Lake Superior multiple times, it takes more than just another big lake to impress me: it takes a big lake with people LIVING ON IT. More specifically, people I could go stare at/take pictures of while thinking, "Look at these crazy people--the live ON a lake!" Did I feel bad while driving down very bad roads for an hour to go stare at really poor people living on a lake? At first. But only a little. I mean, after all, I figured they could use the money. Because, really, when you live on a lake, you don't have a lot of career options. You can be a fisherman and ... a fisherman's wife, I guess. So really, I thought I was probably helping them out by going to stare at them and take pictures.
Of course, when we actually got there--hordes of tourists had already arrived, of course--and found out how much we had to pay per person to be ferried around in a crappy little boat, I was a little less pleased about the entire situation. I can't remember exactly how much they made us each pay--it was a while ago, at this point--but I remember thinking it was a lot. Like 15 US Dollars or something. And when you're in a country where everything costs a dollar, that's a hell of a lot of money. More than I would normally be willing to pay to go stare at poor people living on a lake. But of after driving all that way out there, we couldn't really say no--well, we could, but I don't think anyone was looking forward to the hour ride back to Siem Reap down the dirt "road" we had come in on, especially considering the "shocks" on our van--so we paid our money and got taken for a ride.
All that being said, it was actually pretty cool. Was it $15 of my not-very-hard-earned money cool? Possibly. Well, possibly to probably. After all, in the US, you can't go gawk at poor people living on boats, no matter HOW much you pay. (Plus, in the areas of the country where I imagine people living on boats--I'm thinking the South and swamps--you have to worry about getting winged with a shotgun.) Plus, while we had seen people living on the water in Halong Bay, this was slightly different: in Halong Bay, people were living in tiny little communities in houses that were clearly primarily boats; on Tonle Sap lake, people were living in houses that just happened to float, as you can see in the following picture.
(Side note: That green plant-stuff was everywhere around the village. It seemed to only grow in places where the water was very calm, which it definitely was around the village due to, I presume, two things: the amount of houses/boats, and their proximity to the shore. Once you got out into the actual open water of the lake, the plants disappeared. And if you're wondering why they live right next the shore but on the water, I have one word for you: flooding.)
Main street:
Women hard at work doing ... whatever it is women there do. Something with fish, possibly? Well, that or laundry. That's only partially a joke, as you will see shortly:
If you think this looks like a school, guess what? For once, you're right: it is a school. A FLOATING school. (To be fair, Halong Bay also had floating schools. Just not such schooly-looking ones.) How much cooler would school have been as a kid if your school actually floated? Way cooler, obviously. And much safer in a flood to boot ....
See? Laundry. I don't know if we came on laundry day or what, but there was laundry everywhere. And since it made for colorful pictures, I have a lot of snaps of said laundry. I kept hoping they had some way of doing their laundry other than dunking it in the lake, since--while I did see much laundry--I did not see a lot in the way of septic systems. Which is something the Halong Bay houses definitely had ...
What do you do for recess when you go to a floating school? Go play on a floating basketball court, natch. Already, the kids I saw playing here were more fundamentally sound than 95% of NBA players. And really, that's not saying a lot:
More laundry. Some of that looks like it might need to be washed again. I'm just saying:
I think this counts as taking a stroll around the neighborhood:
For all you men out there, you think it's bad when your wife wants you to rearrange the furniture? Check out this poor guy. "I think our house would look better over there. Oh no, wait. Over there. But maybe if you turn it the other way? Actually, maybe it was better where it was ...."
Apparently I have a laundry obsession. Unfortunately, I never took a psych class in college, so I have no idea what that might mean:
My favorite part about this picture is the fact that one kid is using an old plastic jug for a life preserver. I wonder if this counts as recycling?
I like this picture:
A beefcake photo for those with a predilection for in-shape subsistence fishermen. I'm sure there's a website somewhere for you ....
Another photo I like. The laundry is coincidental, I swear:
Some slice-of-life photos, for those of you who don't want to go to Siem Reap (which you should) and drive an hour out of town and pay $15 (or whatever) to stare at poor people and so will never see the floating village of Tonle Sap Lake. I'm sure there are many of you out there. Go figure:
One plus of living on a lake: You can totally jump off your roof. And not in a suicidal/cry for help type way either, but just for the hell of it ...
I think this is the local mansion. Maybe:
More eye boats. The better to see you with, my dearies:
It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out why all the boats had water tubes like this hanging over the side. (Did I mention I work with computers all day, ever?) For those of you who also work with computers, I will give you a hint: water cools engines ...
I love this picture because it is so overly dramatic. These guys are heading to the open water--you can see all the green plants disappear suddenly. Where they are going, I have no idea .. based on the standing guy's pose, I'd say across the Delaware to fight the Hessians. I'd be wrong, but that's what I'd say ...
If you see this kid, float the other way. Sure, he looks cute now, but just wait until he latches on to the side of your boat like a lamprey and won't let go until you give him money. Luckily, I took this picture while he wasn't looking, thus avoiding the boat-latch. The people in the boat next to us, however, were not so lucky:
Our next event is the boat-pulling competition, ladies and gentleman. Boat pulling!
The Cambodian flag, for those of you who haven't seen it:
And with that, we made our way back to Bangkok, to spend not one but two nights. And if you think I didn't sing that song approximately 5,000 times when I was there, you'd be wrong. Ask Holly if you don't believe me.
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble ....
Previously, on my vacation:
- Siem Reap: Angkor at Dawn.
- Siem Reap: The Angkor Temples.
- Ang Thong Marine Park.
- Koh Samui.
- Tay Ninh: The Cao Dai Temple.
- The Cu Chi Tunnels.
- The Mekong Delta.
- Saigon: the Random.
- Saigon: Reunification Hall.
- Saigon: the War Museum.
- Saigon: the Streets.
- Hoi An: The River.
- Hoi An: My Son.
- Hoi An: the People.
- Hoi An: the Streets.
- Hue: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hue: the River.
- Hue: the Imperial Tombs.
- Hue: the Imperial Palace.
- Hue: the Streets.
- Halong Bay: the Videos.
- Halong Bay.
- Hanoi: the Random.
- Hanoi: Water Puppets.
- Hanoi: the "Hilton."
- Hanoi: the People.
- Hanoi: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hanoi: the Streets.
4.15.2007
Siem Reap: Angkor Wat at Dawn.
I've said it once, and I'll say it again: if you are ever in the general vicinity of Cambodia, you need to go to Siem Reap to check out the Angkor Temples. I know that sounds crazy--oh, I was just in the general vicinity of Cambodia last week!--but come on people, Thailand is right there so why wouldn't you go? It's just like Mexico, but cleaner and with better food. And the beaches aren't bad, either. And just so we're clear, by "not bad" I mean "better than the ones in Mexico." Well, at least if you like your beaches to include things like, oh, golden sand, hot sun, warm water, etc. (If you prefer your beaches otherwise, I would humbly suggest that you are, in fact, missing the point of a beach ...)
(Side note: for non-dawn pictures of Angkor, look here and here.)
And--to get back to my point, or at least to further approach my point--when you do go to Siem Reap to see the Angkor temples, you need to get up at dawn to go watch the sunrise over Angkor Wat. (To clear up some confusion, Angkor Wat is the biggest and most famous of the Angkor temples--but there are a lot more ... you can't use the names interchangeably. Well, you can, but you'll sound like a jackass. Whether or not you're okay with that is something you'll have to figure out for yourself.) On the plus side, I guarantee it will be one of the coolest things you'll ever see. On the negative side, to get there at sunrise, you'll have to get up and on your way somewhere between 4:30 and 4:45 AM, AKA "at the ass-crack of dawn." Although now that I write that, I'm not sure why anyone would ever refer to the ass-crack of dawn. I mean, where do you go from there? The full-moon of the afternoon? The sphincter of sunset? Yeah, I didn't think so.
Anyway. Angkor at dawn. Yes, you have to get up early, and yes, no matter how early you get up, you will have been beaten to the front gate of Angkor Wat by anywhere from one to six hundred Korean and/or Japanese tourists. But don't worry, it works out. When we pulled into the parking lot (it seems a bit strange that ancient, moldering jungle temples HAVE parking lots ...), I was a little annoyed at the fact that about 50 tour buses seemed to have beaten us there. There's a place in front of Angkor Wat where there's a little pool where you can see the reflection of the temple, which makes it THE picture-taking spot; I had been planning to take my pictures from there, but I was worried about having to push my way through rows and rows of people to do. (I mean, I totally would have done it. I just wouldn't have enjoyed it.) (No, I take that back--it would have been fun.)
Either way, I never even got the option, because the crowds all seemed to stop at the main gate. I wasn't sure why, since I figured if you were going to get to Angkor Wat at 5 AM, you might as well take a picture, but later I realized it was probably because they wanted an actual picture of the sun rising over the temple, whereas I only wanted the silhouette at dawn. So while it looked very crowded, once I got on the path toward the temple, things thinned out remarkably. So much, in fact, that at one point I was actually able to get in front of everyone else there (as far as I could tell) and take a picture with no one else in the frame, which is difficult at best at any tourist attraction in Asia, and which I would have thought was completely impossible at one as overrun at Angkor, but here's the proof:
(Side note: depending on the camera you have, you might want to bring a tripod. My camera has pretty serious image stabilization, so I was able to take this by kneeling on the ground, but I had to take six or seven shots to get one that was usable. My friends who had standard point-and-shoots had a really hard problem getting decent pictures in the light--or lack of it.)
A shot featuring the reflecting pool I mentioned above. You can't tell, but in the middle of the day there would probably be one to two-hundred people taking this exact same shot on either side of you; at 5 AM, there's only ten to fifteen:
This shot is same-same, but different. (That's a Southeast Asia joke, for the record: people say it there all the time. Except one girl, who told me "same-same, but better," which made me laugh. I still didn't buy her postcards though. I mean, how many postcards I'll never send of Hoi An do I need?) Anyway, in this picture the person standing next to me took a picture at the same time with her flash on. What she thought the flash on her tiny little Casio camera would do to improve the picture I have no idea--nothing, I strongly suspect--but it created a pretty cool effect:
Approaching the temple itself, with my friend out in front of me ruining the picture. (Thanks, Mike!)
One more, sans-Mike. It's bright out, but the sun hasn't actually come up yet:
Remember how I mentioned that you wouldn't be alone? This is what I mean. Remember, this is like 5 AM. Although I am a little jealous of the person in the hot-air balloon:
Inside the temple, it's still pretty dark, which also led to some cool photo ops. Because really, why else go a famous UNESCO world heritage site if not for the photo opportunities?
Last shot, which was maybe the coolest thing. At this point, I'd climbed to the top of the temple and walked to the far side, where I sat there by myself and watched the sun come up over the jungle. This picture doesn't quite do it justice, as you can imagine:
Next, Tonle Sap Lake! Which is cooler than it sounds! Which wouldn't be hard! Because, you know, most things that involve the word "sap" just aren't that cool!
Previously, on my vacation:
- Siem Reap: the Angkor Temples.
- Ang Thong Marine Park: the Video.
- Ang Thong Marine Park.
- Koh Samui.
- Tay Ninh: The Cao Dai Temple.
- The Cu Chi Tunnels.
- The Mekong Delta.
- Saigon: the Random.
- Saigon: Reunification Hall.
- Saigon: the War Museum.
- Saigon: the Streets.
- Hoi An: The River.
- Hoi An: My Son.
- Hoi An: the People.
- Hoi An: the Streets.
- Hue: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hue: the River.
- Hue: the Imperial Tombs.
- Hue: the Imperial Palace.
- Hue: the Streets.
- Halong Bay: the Videos.
- Halong Bay.
- Hanoi: the Random.
- Hanoi: Water Puppets.
- Hanoi: the "Hilton."
- Hanoi: the People.
- Hanoi: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hanoi: the Streets.
(Side note: for non-dawn pictures of Angkor, look here and here.)
And--to get back to my point, or at least to further approach my point--when you do go to Siem Reap to see the Angkor temples, you need to get up at dawn to go watch the sunrise over Angkor Wat. (To clear up some confusion, Angkor Wat is the biggest and most famous of the Angkor temples--but there are a lot more ... you can't use the names interchangeably. Well, you can, but you'll sound like a jackass. Whether or not you're okay with that is something you'll have to figure out for yourself.) On the plus side, I guarantee it will be one of the coolest things you'll ever see. On the negative side, to get there at sunrise, you'll have to get up and on your way somewhere between 4:30 and 4:45 AM, AKA "at the ass-crack of dawn." Although now that I write that, I'm not sure why anyone would ever refer to the ass-crack of dawn. I mean, where do you go from there? The full-moon of the afternoon? The sphincter of sunset? Yeah, I didn't think so.
Anyway. Angkor at dawn. Yes, you have to get up early, and yes, no matter how early you get up, you will have been beaten to the front gate of Angkor Wat by anywhere from one to six hundred Korean and/or Japanese tourists. But don't worry, it works out. When we pulled into the parking lot (it seems a bit strange that ancient, moldering jungle temples HAVE parking lots ...), I was a little annoyed at the fact that about 50 tour buses seemed to have beaten us there. There's a place in front of Angkor Wat where there's a little pool where you can see the reflection of the temple, which makes it THE picture-taking spot; I had been planning to take my pictures from there, but I was worried about having to push my way through rows and rows of people to do. (I mean, I totally would have done it. I just wouldn't have enjoyed it.) (No, I take that back--it would have been fun.)
Either way, I never even got the option, because the crowds all seemed to stop at the main gate. I wasn't sure why, since I figured if you were going to get to Angkor Wat at 5 AM, you might as well take a picture, but later I realized it was probably because they wanted an actual picture of the sun rising over the temple, whereas I only wanted the silhouette at dawn. So while it looked very crowded, once I got on the path toward the temple, things thinned out remarkably. So much, in fact, that at one point I was actually able to get in front of everyone else there (as far as I could tell) and take a picture with no one else in the frame, which is difficult at best at any tourist attraction in Asia, and which I would have thought was completely impossible at one as overrun at Angkor, but here's the proof:
(Side note: depending on the camera you have, you might want to bring a tripod. My camera has pretty serious image stabilization, so I was able to take this by kneeling on the ground, but I had to take six or seven shots to get one that was usable. My friends who had standard point-and-shoots had a really hard problem getting decent pictures in the light--or lack of it.)
A shot featuring the reflecting pool I mentioned above. You can't tell, but in the middle of the day there would probably be one to two-hundred people taking this exact same shot on either side of you; at 5 AM, there's only ten to fifteen:
This shot is same-same, but different. (That's a Southeast Asia joke, for the record: people say it there all the time. Except one girl, who told me "same-same, but better," which made me laugh. I still didn't buy her postcards though. I mean, how many postcards I'll never send of Hoi An do I need?) Anyway, in this picture the person standing next to me took a picture at the same time with her flash on. What she thought the flash on her tiny little Casio camera would do to improve the picture I have no idea--nothing, I strongly suspect--but it created a pretty cool effect:
Approaching the temple itself, with my friend out in front of me ruining the picture. (Thanks, Mike!)
One more, sans-Mike. It's bright out, but the sun hasn't actually come up yet:
Remember how I mentioned that you wouldn't be alone? This is what I mean. Remember, this is like 5 AM. Although I am a little jealous of the person in the hot-air balloon:
Inside the temple, it's still pretty dark, which also led to some cool photo ops. Because really, why else go a famous UNESCO world heritage site if not for the photo opportunities?
Last shot, which was maybe the coolest thing. At this point, I'd climbed to the top of the temple and walked to the far side, where I sat there by myself and watched the sun come up over the jungle. This picture doesn't quite do it justice, as you can imagine:
Next, Tonle Sap Lake! Which is cooler than it sounds! Which wouldn't be hard! Because, you know, most things that involve the word "sap" just aren't that cool!
Previously, on my vacation:
- Siem Reap: the Angkor Temples.
- Ang Thong Marine Park: the Video.
- Ang Thong Marine Park.
- Koh Samui.
- Tay Ninh: The Cao Dai Temple.
- The Cu Chi Tunnels.
- The Mekong Delta.
- Saigon: the Random.
- Saigon: Reunification Hall.
- Saigon: the War Museum.
- Saigon: the Streets.
- Hoi An: The River.
- Hoi An: My Son.
- Hoi An: the People.
- Hoi An: the Streets.
- Hue: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hue: the River.
- Hue: the Imperial Tombs.
- Hue: the Imperial Palace.
- Hue: the Streets.
- Halong Bay: the Videos.
- Halong Bay.
- Hanoi: the Random.
- Hanoi: Water Puppets.
- Hanoi: the "Hilton."
- Hanoi: the People.
- Hanoi: Zoom, Zoom.
- Hanoi: the Streets.
